changing my mind

I could sleep,
if I would just go lay down.

But I don't....
I won't.
I sit here at this computer,
surfing for what?

something unknown.

looking at financial charts,
future maps of underwater worlds,
researching survival techniques,
inquiring as to current CIA positions,

and now - visiting the BLOG...

the place I come to when I feel there is no place else to go...
the place where I am exposed to billions in the world...
and no one comes to see me.

I am just another of the billions of people here...
just another mind racing at night...
staying up late, perhaps...
surfing, searching, wondering....

what does the future hold?
what do I bring to the table?
what is my purpose?
what is there to know?
does any of this matter?
does anyone else care?

feeling the heaviness of my inner spirit,
and physical body...
I decide to turn off the light....

and let my mind stumble in circles,
until it cannot see where it turns, anymore....
unconsciously sinking into the comfort of a pillow...
and sleeping soundly till the next day dawns.